


If I Only Knew How You Felt

by Aidoru_trash



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, Jock!Kanan, Nerd!Dia, aqours - Freeform, love live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-03 11:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13340316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidoru_trash/pseuds/Aidoru_trash
Summary: Set in jhaskii's (tumblr) nerd!Dia/jock!Kanan AU.  Dia, Kanan, and Mari used to be best childhood friends, but overtime, their difference led them to drift apart.  Dia, a straight-A student, Kanan, captian of the swim team, and Mari, the most popular girl on campus.  In the girls' third and final year of high school, fate and Mari bring Kanan and Dia (the most polar opposites) together to rekindle their friendship, which eventually burns to be something brighter.





	1. A Not-So-Friendly Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for like checkin this out it means a lot. But most of all thanks to jhaskii on tumblr for blessing us with the nerd/jock AU, answering my questions about it, and giving me feedback and comments. This dynamic between Kanan and Dia should be super fun to work with and I'm looking forward to it. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Follow jhaskii! You won't regret it: http://jhaskii.tumblr.com

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At a Halloween party with the swim team, Kanan gets peer pressured into making perhaps the biggest mistake in her high school career.

* * *

"Egging houses?" Kanan Matsuura, captain of the swim team, asked.

"It's Halloween! They do this kind of thing in America! It'll be fun, come on," Yui, Kanan's closest friend on the swim team, claimed while the other girls were picking up egg cartons and putting on black hoodies. Kanan was used to high school parties with alcohol (though Kanan never drank) and bad choices, but _vandalism_? If she were caught, it could easily mean losing her spot as captain or even on the team entirely. Since Kanan was always the sober one in these cases, she would be most responsible for her friends’ actions, but that was mostly just to keep them from getting themselves killed. Egging houses is still pretty bad, though. Then again, most of the girls at this party were on the swim team, and they all seemed to be going along with it just fine. If Kanan backed out, how would the team listen to her as a leader? But the angel on Kanan's shoulder was telling her to be reasonable.

"But what if we get caught?"

"We won't get caught. Simple as that! Are you scared, _captain_?" Yui said with a smug expression, as if she had read Kanan's mind.

Well, at least she could say she tried. Then, the devil on her other shoulder spoke.

"Let's do it."

The girls went around a nearby neighborhood targeting any house that "looked like a prick lived inside." Kanan didn't throw many eggs, if any at all. She would mostly stand towards the back of the group and watch for cops, or anybody really. Once the girls were done with the house, they'd run off to find their next victims and Kanan would say, "I'm gonna get one last egg in, as _captain_." In reality, she would quietly apologize to the unfortunate homeowners from the street. Not that her unheard apology would make up for the mess of eggs, but it helped her feel the tiniest bit less guilty.

After a few houses, the group of girls came across their next target: a perfect looking house with two jack-o-lanterns outside the front door. One with a cutesy, crying face carved into it and the other with...nothing. It was just a whole, boring pumpkin.

"This is a joke!" Yui said, laughing as she wound up her pitch until-

"Yui, Wait!" Kanan shouted as she caught up to group.

"What?" Yui stopped herself right before releasing the egg, "and keep your voice down!"

"T-this is the Kurosawas' home, we can't egg them," Kanan said awkwardly.

"And why not?" Yui asked impatiently as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Uh, well because uh, Dia...We were, like, friends at some point?"

"You don't sound very sure," Yui spat.

"But-"

"And why would that even matter now? Didn't she totally ditch you and become a nerdy shut in?"

"I mean-"

"What's your deal, Kanan? Come on!" Yui sauntered over to Kanan, extending the hand that held the egg towards her.

"Wha-"

"I want you to the throw the first egg. It'll feel good. Get back at that bitch." Yui leaned forward, "she _abandoned_ you, remember?" Yui was now inches from Kanan's face, backlit by the streetlight, making Yui look even more like the monster she currently was.

Kanan thought for a moment. The split started near the end of middle school. It was always Dia, Kanan, and Mari before then. The three always used to play together, but little by little, they started to drift apart. Dia focused on school, Kanan focused on swimming, and Mari got sucked into the popular, beautiful, rich kids club, whatever that was. When Kanan noticed the separation happening, she tried to stop it, but Dia was too stubborn to talk it out and Mari couldn't be touched with her wall of social media followers that kept her distanced like a celebrity. Maybe, Kanan thought, she did deserve to be pissed. _Really_ pissed. With a new drive of anger, Kanan grabbed the egg from Yui's hand.

Kanan faced the house, "all those years...we should have been FRIENDS!" Kanan launched the egg at the plain pumpkin (which she assumed was Dia’s), hitting it with impressive accuracy and a satisfying THUNK.

"See? What did I tell you?" Yui said with a smirk.

"Gimme more eggs," Kanan demanded without turning around.

...

Meanwhile, in the Kurosawa household, a mouse-like squeal came from the living room.

"Ruby? What's wrong?" Dia "top of her class" Kurosawa inquired, stepping out from her bedroom.

"I-I-I heard a thud come from outside the door and it startled me" Ruby explained, hiding behind the table in the center of the room.

Dia sighed, "I'm sure it's nothing, a 'thud' sound could come from thousands of thin-"

_Thud_

Another squeal from Ruby.

"Eh?" Dia looked genuinely confused. For someone with an incredible 5.0 GPA, it was rare for her to be confused by anything.

"C-can you check outside to see what it is?" Ruby asked, still cowering behind the table.

"Y-yeah, hold on."

Dia made her way to the door. Before opening it, there was another thud, causing Dia to hesitate before poking her head out.

"What's goin-" SMACK.

Dia stumbled backwards; something hard, sharp, and wet hit her in the chest. Dia fell to the floor and Ruby quickly ran to her side, screaming.

"ERGH!" Dia groaned in pain through clenched teeth.

"A-are you okay?!" Ruby asked in a panic.

Dia wiped whatever was on her chest off with her hand. "Egg? What the hell?" Dia stood up and angrily rushed to the door.

She flung it open and shouted, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" But no one was there. She thought she saw a group of people in black hoodies scampering off in the distance. Dia sighed. Before returning inside, however, she caught a glimpse of a figure in the dark, standing by a tree a little ways off in the distance.

Dia strained her eyes to see if she could make out a face.

"K-kanan?" Dia's jaw dropped out of shock then snapped shut in anger, "HEY!" she shouted to get her attention. She probably would have lectured Kanan from across the street, but before she could, Kanan took off into the night.

...

 _Shit shit shit shit! She's knows it was me! I'm so screwed!_ Kanan thought as she ran to catch up with the other girls. Eventually, she gave up. She stopped after a few blocks and sat on the curb.

"It's over." She said to herself, putting her face in her hands.

_What am I going to do? Dia will report this to the school no doubt. I'll get kicked off the team._

"What have I done?" Kanan groaned as she sat alone on the curb, illuminated by a single street light.

Or at least she thought.

"What did you do now?" A familiar voice came from nowhere.

Kanan's expression went immediately from pained to annoyed, "what are you doing here?"

A blonde girl in a short skirt and crop top wearing fake cat ears and a tail emerged from the darkness. Her figure was accented by the small amount of light provided by the old street light.

 _She's got one hell of a body._ Kanan thought for half of a second before remembering where she was.

"Is that any way to greet your friend?"

"No, but I think you forget that you're not my friend, Mari."

"Tsk tsk Kanan, you should be nicer to me. On the contrary, I'm your only real friend left," Mari said as she took a seat next to Kanan on the curb.

Kanan scooted away from Mari, "what the hell's that supposed to mean, I've got plenty of friends. And what on earth are you wearing?" Kanan tried to act disgusted with Mari's outfit, but in reality, she was taking mental pictures.

"It's my Halloween costume, duh. And I thought the stereotypes that jocks were dumb wasn't true," Mari jabbed, crossing her arms and pouting.

Kanan clenched her fists. She didn't need any annoyance on top of the shit she had just gotten herself in to.

"You can leave you know?" Kanan suggested, clearly irritated.

"See that's where you're wrong. I told you I'm your only real friend. You look like did something that you regret, and fate happened to bring me to you in your time of need."

Mari shuffled closer to Kanan again, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What are you getting at? Can't you just leave me alone?"

Kanan, again, scooted farther from Mari.

"Is that what you really want? To be left alone? Or is that just what you're used to? Look around. All of these other 'friends' are nowhere to be found. I know you, Kanan, and I know that in times like this you need a shoulder to cry on," Mari said as she moved towards Kanan again, "just like back in the old days."

"Just stop already will you!?" Kanan started raising her voice, "I don't want to see you right now and I definitely don't need a shoulder to cry on because I'm not going to cry!"

Mari furrowed her brows, got on her hands and knees and started crawling towards Kanan.

"Whoa, what are you-"

"I know you're troubled right now and I'm just trying to be here for you for once in your miserable life! Can't you see that!?"

As Mari crawled towards Kanan, she continued to shuffle away.

"Whose life are you calling miserable? And have you been listening to me at all this whole time!? That's not the case!"

"Oh, but it is and I know it is. Every time it's the same, 'Mari I messed up', or 'Mari help me', or 'Mari I egged Dia's house and ruined any chance of us being friends again.' Well, I suppose I beat you to that one, huh?"

Kanan's eyes opened wide, "wait, how did you-"

SPLASH

Mari caused Kanan to scoot all the way off the end of the curb, falling into a puddle.

Mari looked satisfied with herself.

Kanan looked angry.

Oh no.

Kanan stood up, grabbed Mari by her lack of clothing, and pulled her up to meet her gaze.

"Wow Kanan, so bold of you, I didn't think you were that kind of girl-"

"Shut up! I don't know how you knew about what happened literally less than 10 minutes ago and I don't care. Just stay out of my life and let me deal with my problems by myself!" Kanan shouted at Mari, inches from her face.

Kanan, breathing heavily, slowly let Mari down and released her iron grip. Mari seemed unfazed.

Without saying another word, Kanan took off jogging down the street and around the corner, eventually breaking into a full on sprint.

Mari stood alone under the yellow glow of the street light.

"She's such a piece of work," she said to no one, with a grin on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. I know I know it's probably a little heavier than you were expecting, but don't worry! The cute nerd/jock dynamic will be coming into play sooner than you think ;)


	2. The Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events that transpired last night, Kanan's fate rests in Dia's hands.

The next day at school, a very angry Dia Kurosawa sat on a bench outside of the director’s office.  In her hands was a typed, thorough report of the previous night’s events. 

“What are you doing here?” Dia asked without even opening her eyes.

“Just like Kanan, huh?” Mari muttered under her breath.

“What’s that?” Dia was clearly irritated at the mention of that name.

“Nothing, nothing.  I was just going to ask what  _ you’re _ doing here.”  The blonde took a seat next to Dia.

“I need to talk to the director.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need to tell you.”

“Why?”

“What are you, a toddler?”  Dia was losing her patience.  She had a short fuse and Mari knew how to burn it better than anyone else.

“Maybe I am, but an incredibly smart one.  I already know why you’re here.  You’re going to report last night’s events to the director and get Kanan kicked off the swim team,” Mari said, very self-satisfied.  Dia, on the other hand, wasn’t impressed.

“She’ll be lucky if the director is that lenient.  That was clear vandalism, and technically, assault.  It should be punishable by at least suspension, if not expulsion,” Dia explained, regaining her composure. 

“Dia, you don’t  _ really _ want that, do you?” Mari asked, taking on a more serious tone.

“I thought you said you were smart.  Of course I want that.  Kanan is a delinquent that deserves no sympathy from me.”  Dia looked down at the floor and mumbled, “Ever since she abandoned us for those brutes…”

“What was that?” Mari inquired, raising her eyebrows.

“N-Nothing!  The point is that her actions will have consequences; no one gets a get out of jail free card in the real world.  Even if there were such a thing, Kanan would be the least deserving.”  Dia crossed her arms and turned her head away from Mari.

“Dia, I’m not going to tell you not to report Kanan, but I just hope you realize that if you get her expelled, you’ll probably never see her again.”

“Maybe I don’t want to see her ever again,” Dia snapped back.

Mari was getting frustrated, but refused to lose her temper.  “Look, the three of us drifted apart, sure, but that doesn’t mean we have to be at each other’s throats.  I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we didn’t want this to happen.”  Mari spoke with a genuinely compassionate and almost maternal tone.

“You’re one to talk.  While I’ve been actually studying and working hard to get into a good college, you’ve been living the teenage high school dream with all of your rich friends.  Like you even care about us.”

That last bit stabbed Mari right through the heart.  Tears formed in her eyes and she hung her head, “It’s not like that…”

“Then what  _ is _ it like?”  Dia closed her eyes and turned away again.  Despite how harsh she was being, she wasn’t sure if she could stand to see Mari cry right now.

Mari took a deep breath and a moment to recompose herself.  She stood up from the bench and turned to her former friend with a stern expression.  “If you go through with this, there’s no turning back,” Mari said, now sounding more angry than sad.

“She hit me with an egg,” Dia coldly reminded Mari, glaring at her with a stare so frigid that Mari could swear she saw icicles forming in those turquoise eyes.

Mari couldn’t say anymore and stormed off down the hallway.  Dia held her composure until Mari was out of sight.  Then, the brunette sighed and her perfect posture sank a little, staring at the piece of paper in her hands.

…

Kanan sighed, slumped over at her desk in her AP Biology class.  Even though she loved this class the most (the only class she had an A in), she couldn’t stop worrying.  ‘ _ There’s no way Dia wouldn’t report me,’  _ Kanan thought as she sunk into the comfort of her puffy letterman.  It was only a matter of time before her life would be ruined.  In her anxiousness, Kanan started repeatedly tapping her notebook with her pencil.

Eventually, the soft  _ tap tap tap _ of pencil on notebook was taken over by the staccato click of heels in the hallway, approaching the very class that Kanan sat in.  One of the office assistants appeared in the doorway, wielding a clipboard.  

_ This is it. _

“Matsuura, Kanan.  Director’s office,” the assistant said with a tone so sharp it could cut glass.

“Coming,” Kanan said dejectedly as she stood and grabbed her bag.  She tried to make her exit no big deal, but even she couldn’t deny that her breath was audibly shaking.  The class went silent and it felt as if everyone was staring at her.  Kanan shivered in response to the chilly glances.  She may have been used to having eyes on her during swim meets, but this was different.  After this, there would be no more swim meets for Kanan.

She met the assistant in the hall.  Neither of them said a word the entire way to the director’s office.  Kanan’s fingers and toes went cold.  It felt as if the blood was draining from her body with every step.  Every click of the assistant’s heels was like an electric shock to Kanan’s heart, which was already beating out of her chest.  She couldn’t tell if she was going to throw up, cry, or pass out. 

After what felt like miles of walking, they arrived at the director’s office.  The assistant opened the door for Kanan and gestured for her to enter.  She felt like she was being ushered to the devil’s waiting room.  The proud star of the swim team entered with her head hung low.

“Miss Matsuura?” The director’s smooth, low voice would have been calming in any other scenario.

“Yes, Miss Yamamoto?” Kanan looked up and to her surprise, “D-Dia!?” 

In front of the director’s desk were two chairs, one of which was occupied by none other than Dia Kurosawa.  She sat perfectly still with her back up straight, hands on her lap, and eyes closed.  She didn’t even turn around when Kanan entered the room.

_ Why is she here? I know she reported me, but does she really hate me so much that she wanted to see me get kicked off the team in person?  How cruel… _

Ignoring the shock on Kanan’s face, Ms. Yamamoto gestured to the chair, “Have a seat.”

Kanan cautiously sat in the empty chair next to Dia, as if she was trying to move past a sleeping, oxford-wearing tiger.  

When Kanan finally got settled, the director started, “About last night-”

“I’m sorry!” Kanan abruptly stood up and bowed, “I apologize to the Kurosawas and their home, and especially to Dia.  I hope there’s no significant damage to your home and I hope you were not seriously injured, Dia!” Kanan was able to get these words out smoothly only because she had practiced the lines in her head during class.

Ms. Yamamoto raised an eyebrow at Kanan’s awkward apology, then continued, “As I was saying, you should be expelled.  We have zero tolerance for vandals at our school, especially when they are representing a school sponsored athletic program.”

That stung Kanan a little harder than she expected.  Okay, a lot harder.   _ Expelled?! _  She thought she would be kicked off the team for sure, but she didn’t realize that it would be grounds for expulsion.  Even so, she tried her best to remain calm.  This was her mistake after all and these were the consequences, not that it helped her feel any better.

“I understand,” Kanan said, keeping her head down, fighting back the tears that formed in her eyes.  She slowly reached down to pick up her bag and leave.  She couldn’t handle another minute in that office.

“Wait a moment,” Ms. Yamamoto said quickly, “I’m not done with you yet.”

Kanan released her bag and slowly sat back down without looking up, expecting the lecture of a lifetime.

“I said  _ should, _ ” Ms. Yamamoto said cooly, almost grinning as if she enjoyed playing that bit of emotional torture with Kanan.

“EH!?” Kanan snapped her head up.

“I’m not expelling you.  I’m not kicking you off the swim team either.”

“Wait.  Really!?”  Kanan couldn’t keep a straight face as she beamed at the director.  “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!  I promise nothing like this will ever happen again!”  Kanan, feeling incredibly relieved, then got the courage to ask, “But why?”

“You shouldn’t be thanking me.  Don’t get me wrong, when Miss Kurosawa told me about what happened last night, I had every intention to inflict proper punishment.  Vandalizing innocent homes, you should be ashamed of yourself,” Ms. Yamamoto scolded, shaking her head.

Kanan felt her heart sink.  She felt like she was three again, getting in trouble for drawing on the walls with permanent marker.

“But, surprisingly, Miss Kurosawa also defended you miraculously.  If it were anyone else, I’m not sure I would’ve listened, but being our top student with perfect grades earns trust, so I did.” 

_ Whoa whoa whoa wait.  Dia.  Defend.  Me?!?! _

Kanan quickly turned to Dia, who remained completely still.  She hadn’t moved since Kanan walked in.  “T-thank you, Dia,” was all Kanan could manage to get out.  Although she was elated, Dia’s presence was intimidating, even to Kanan.  

“Hm,” was Dia’s only response.  

Kanan soon realized that this was all too good to be true.  People don’t just get off the hook like that.  There has to be some sort of catch.

“There is, however, one condition,” Ms. Yamamoto added, looking out the window that oversaw the school courtyard.  “In order to remain enrolled at this school, you will now be required to produce at least a 4.0 grade point average until you graduate in March.  You will have until winter break to achieve this, giving you approximately a month and a half to get your grades up.  From then until March you must maintain those grades.  Understood?”  

Yup.  There it is.

“U-understood.”  Kanan kept a straight face, but inside, she was freaking out.

_ What?!  That kind of pressure is ridiculous!  What kind of punishment is this anyways!? _

The problem wasn’t necessarily Kanan’s ability to do well in school, it was more of an effort thing.  Between swim team practices, swim meets, and all of the extra physical training Kanan did outside of all that, there wasn’t enough time for her to study properly. The result was that she only focused on the one class she actually enjoyed: biology.  Other than that, her report card reflected that of the stereotypical jock.

“Good.  Don’t disappoint me.  Now, return to class, both of you,” Ms. Yamamoto finished, waving the girls off.

Exiting the office, Dia immediately turned and began walking to her class.  Kanan let out a shaky sigh of relief.  She wasn’t sure if what just happened was real or not.  Turning her head, she watched Dia walk down the hall.  She wore a snug, dark blue sweater over a light blue dress shirt, tan, skinny fit slacks, and brown oxfords.  It was an outfit that you’d expect to see on a guy, but  _ damn _ Dia wore it well.  Her hair was by no means bad either.  It was long, dark, and had a shine you only see in shampoo commercials.  It’s easier to appreciate someone’s beauty when they just saved your ass.  Kanan’s heart skipped a beat, and she shook herself out of it.  

Then, as if someone else took control of her body, Kanan began jogging after Dia.  She couldn’t say why.  She just felt like she needed to say something.  When she caught up, she placed a hand on Dia’s shoulder, “Hey-”

Dia turned around in the blink of an eye and grabbed Kanan by the wrist with a grip tight enough to make a diamond out of coal.  She glared into Kanan’s eyes, as if trying to melt them with the heat of her gaze.  

“Don’t touch me,” Dia said firmly.  She released Kanan’s arm and began walking away again.

Kanan lost all ability to function for a moment. 

_ What just happened? _

“Hey!” Kanan shouted in the spur of the moment.

Dia stopped walking, but didn’t turn around.

Kanan swallowed, took a deep breath, and thought about the words she was putting through her mouth.  “Uh...T-thanks for not getting me expelled.  I really appreciate it.”

“I don’t need your appreciation,” Dia responded without so much as a waver in her voice.  She started walking again.

“Wait!” Kanan shouted, desperately.

Dia, losing her patience, spun around, “What do you want!?  I’m trying to get back to class!”  The grip on the books she was carrying was visibly tighter.

Kanan was taken aback, but she couldn’t let herself be intimidated by someone who weighed at least 20 pounds lighter than her.  “Is there anything I can do?  To, ya know, make it up to you?  Anything at all?”

Dia narrowed her eyes into a cold stare, “there’s nothing a delinquent like you could do for me,” she responded before turning on her heels and trying to walk away again.

“Is that so?” Kanan whispered to herself.

Without thinking, Kanan swept around Dia in one motion, taking her by her forearms and pinning them against the lockers lining the walls of the hallway.  Dia dropped the books that she was carrying and they hit the floor with several  _ thuds _ and  _ smacks _ that resonated through the echoey hallway.  One book in particular, landed open revealing…doujinshi?

Kanan was inches away from Dia’s beet red face.  Her eyes were wide and her lips were quivering.  Kanan could feel the heat radiating off of the girl who she could have sworn was cold blooded just a second ago.  Despite her rapidly beating heart, Kanan had a cool expression on, priding herself on how easily she was able to break Dia’s cold front.  Except Kanan wasn’t the reason Dia was flustered.  

Dia nervously looked down at the open doujin as beads of sweat started to form on her forehead.  Kanan followed Dia’s gaze and saw it. 

Yuri.  No way.  Kanan’s eyes bulged a the sight.

The dismissal bell rang.  In a moment of confusion, Kanan had loosened her grip and Dia took the opportunity to slip away from the jock’s confines, pick up her books with incredible speed, and run off into the crowd of students as they filed out of class.

Kanan was left motionless with her jaw on the floor.

...

The events of the day occupied Kanan’s thoughts for the rest of the night and, unsurprisingly, left her exhausted.  After showering and throwing on some sweats and a tank top, Kanan flopped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, going over the day’s events in her head for the hundredth time.  No matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out why Dia had defended her.  She didn’t have a reason to.  Unless-

Kanan’s phone vibrated on her bedside table.  She jumped out of surprise, then grabbed it and checked the notification.  

“Mari?”

Mari had sent her a text that read, “hey, meet me in the library after school tomorrow.”  That was it.  Kanan was incredibly confused, but knew that Mari wouldn’t answer any questions if Kanan asked.  Plus, she was too tired to deal with Mari’s indirectness, so she just replied with, “sure.”  

Kanan put her phone back on her bedside table and turned off the lights.  She  _ really  _ needed some sleep.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Not gonna lie I was surprised by the support that just the first chapter got since this is my first uploaded work. Even the few comments put a smile on my face so thank you for that! And thanks to jhaskii for proofreading this chapter as well, I really appreciate it!


	3. Hot For Tutor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Kanan's new situation regarding her grades, Mari figures tutoring is in order and she knows just the person for the job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for proofreading again, Jax! You're the homie!

Kanan went through the school day confused.  She couldn’t imagine why Mari would want to talk to her in the library after school.  What did they have to talk about?  It was a bad time for Kanan’s head to be flooded with these thoughts too, since she was actually trying to pay attention in  _ all  _ of her classes now.  When the final class of the day was dismissed, Kanan was the first one out of the classroom and made a beeline for the library.  The curiosity was killing her.  

 

After briskly walking through the halls, Kanan found the library, which she had probably been in about twice in her entire high school career.  She slid the door open and walked inside.  There were a few people buried in books, but none of them were Mari.  She was probably running late, as usual.  Just as the out-of-place athlete was about to sit at an empty table, one of the few library occupants lowered their book.  

 

“Dia!”  As if by reflex, Kanan excitedly acknowledged Dia with a smile like they were best friends again.  

 

Unaware of who called her name, Dia looked up from her book.  When she noticed the source of the voice, she immediately shoved her face back in her book, but it was too late.  Kanan was already walking towards the table with a stupid grin on her face.  

 

“Hey,” Kanan said in a friendly tone as she sat across from Dia.

 

“H-hey,” the bookworm shyly responded, face half-hidden by her reading material.  She was clearly still embarrassed after what happened yesterday.

 

“So uh, I just wanted to let you know that classes are goin’ pretty well if I do say so myself.  I’ll have that 4.0 in no time,” Kanan spoke with a cocky tone, as she leaned back in her chair, putting her feet up on the table.  

 

Dia’s left eye twitched, “Get your feet down from there.  Who raised you?”  Just like that, Dia was back to her harsh, snappy self.

 

“My paren-”

 

“Finish that sentence and I’ll get you expelled,” Dia’s gaze returned to her book.

 

Kanan shut her mouth and complied.  

 

After a moment of silence, Dia looked up from her book with her eyes and saw Kanan awkwardly looking over at the library entrance.  “Why are you even here?”

 

Kanan’s head whipped around, “Huh?  Um, actually I’m not sure.  Mari told me to meet her here after school, but I guess it looks like she’s not showing up.”

 

Dia’s eyes narrowed, “It’s funny you should say that because Mari also-”

 

The library door slammed open.

 

“SHINY-”

 

“Shhhh!” Everyone in the library, except Kanan, had shushed the loud voice as if it was a natural impulse.  And of course, that loud voice came from none other than-

 

“Mari, you’re late,” Dia pointed out as she closed her book.

 

“Heehee, sorry.  I had some business to take care of,” Mari explained then playfully stuck out her tongue.  The exuberant blonde took a seat at the table and continued, “Now, you’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here.  Oh! But first…”

 

Mari pulled her phone out, turned around, stuck her arm out, and took a selfie with the two, extremely confused girls.

 

“Was that necessary?”  Dia sighed.

 

“Can you just tell us why we’re here already?”  Kanan whined impatiently.

 

“Jeez, jeez okay,” Mari resumed her original position and spoke firmly, “I have brought you two together because of Kanan’s new situation.”

 

“Eh!? How do you know about that!?” Kanan’s eyes bulged at Mari.

 

Mari leaned towards Kanan and placed a finger under her chin. “I know  _ e-very-thing _ ,” Mari said in a slow and almost seductive tone that was enough to send a chill down both Kanan and Dia’s spines.  Mari snapped back to her upright posture.  “Anyways!  I’m here to give Kanan the helps she needs before she even wants it.”

 

Both girls looked at Mari like she had gone crazy, “Heh?”

 

“What I _ meeean _ , is that Dia will be Kanan’s new tutor to help get up and maintain her grades-”

 

Dia shot up from her seat, “BUU BUU-”

 

“Shhhh!”  Came the immediate reply from the students in the library.  

 

Remembering where she was, Dia’s face turned red and she sank back into her seat.

 

Both Kanan and Mari had bewildered expressions on their faces.  Even though they knew Dia had a short temper, they had never seen her act out in response to anything the way she just did. 

 

“Sorry, but that is not happening,” Dia said, back in her reserved self.

 

“Right.  I thought you might say that, but please, do you really think Kanan can hold up her end of the deal with the director?  She needs your help, she just doesn’t know it yet,” Mari said very matter of factly.  

 

“ _ Hey! _ ”  Kanan slammed her hand onto the table, attracting a few nasty glares from other library goers, “I don’t need help!  I can get that 4.0 easy!”  Kanan crossed her arms.

 

“Plus, I already did enough,” Dia added.  “I saved her from expulsion.  If anything she owes  _ me, _ ” Dia humphed at Mari.

 

“Hey I never asked you to defend me!  Why would I owe  _ you _ ?” Kanan retaliated.

 

Mari was visibly shaking with frustration, but spoke in a very calm manner, “Maybe we should step outside,” she suggested.

 

All three, irritated girls emerged from the library into the hallway.  

 

“ _ SHUT UP! _ ” Mari suddenly shouted, catching both Kanan and Dia off guard.  Mari became flustered, trying to come up with any words to say that would convince them to hear out her proposal.  “Kanan!  Listen, I know you have a huge ego from being star of the swim team or whatever, but put that shit away for one second, okay?  Getting this 4.0 is the  _ one _ thing that will keep you on the swim team and at this school at all so ditch that big head and accept the help!”

 

Kanan didn’t know what to say.  No one had ever spoken to her that way before.  She pondered the idea for Mari’s sake.  Maybe tutoring wouldn’t be the worst idea.  While Kanan was confident that she could do well in her classes by herself, she recognized that she’s not a perfect student, so some extra help could always come in handy.  It would also mean spending more time with Dia...

 

Kanan blushed at the thought and immediately waved it away.  She turned to Mari. “I’m in,” Kanan said with resolve.  

 

“Good.  I’m glad you’ve come to your senses,” Mari said, feeling accomplished.  

 

“Just because she wants to be tutored doesn’t mean I’m going to do it,” Dia spoke, reminding the other two girls of her presence.

 

“I’ll pay you,” Mari suggested.

 

“I don’t need your money.”  Dia tapped her foot impatiently.

 

Kanan took note of the books Dia was holding.  One had a red book cover on it, much like the one that happened to fall open in the hallway yesterday.  A light bulb went off in Kanan’s head.  “Tutor me or I’ll tell everyone I know about your yur-”

 

Dia lunged forward and covered Kanan’s big mouth.

 

“ _ OH~ so kinky _ , Dia!” Mari commented, clearly entertained.

 

Dia turned to Mari with a flushed face, “Shut up! I’ll tutor her!”

 

…

 

Kanan and Dia decided to meet for tutoring once a week on Saturdays.  Kanan wasn’t a huge fan of having a large chunk of her weekend ripped away, but she wasn’t allowed to complain.  It was only for a few hours anyways.  

 

Kanan arrived at Dia’s apartment at 8:00AM.  ‘ _ Who gets up this early to do homework?’  _ Kanan questioned as she rubbed her eyes outside the front door.  Kanan was surprised when she found out that Dia had actually moved out of her family’s home last year, especially since she was there on Halloween.  Kanan giggled to herself remembering the conversation.

 

_ “Why were you there on Halloween though?” _

 

_ “Ruby and I have a Halloween tradition of carving pumpkins together.” _

 

_ “But your pumpkin had nothing carved into it.” _

 

_ “Y-yes well, I actually ended up carving Ruby’s pumpkin by myself while she ate sweets…” _

 

_ “You must really love you sister, huh?  I guess you do have a soft side after all.” _

 

_ “T-there’s nothing wrong with that!” _

 

Kanan snapped back into reality and walked through the front door.  She walked up the stairs and found Dia’s apartment number.  Kanan only got two knocks in before the door swung open.

 

“You’re late.”  

 

Dia was dressed as she normally would be at school.  Sweater, dress shirt, and everything.  Kanan imagined that her closet was filled with sweaters and dress shirts in every shade of every color.  She probably slept in those clothes too.

 

“Good morning to you too,” Kanan said, donning sweats and her letterman.  Dia said nothing as she turned and started walking to her bedroom, Kanan instinctively following after.

 

Dia’s apartment reflected her personality.  Everything was neat and classy.  The walls were white and plain, besides a few minimalistic paintings here and there.  All the furniture was modern looking and color coordinated.  A few houseplants sat next to books on a shelf.  There was a wooden coffee table that matched the dark, hardwood floors.  A modest flat screen television sat across from the couch.  

 

Kanan was amazed, “Wow, this place looks like something you’d see in magazine.”

 

“Thanks,” Dia responded, holding the door to her bedroom open for Kanan.  

 

Kanan entered the room which basically looked like the rest of the house, except with a bed, dresser, and desk inside.  

 

“Take a seat, I’ll go make some tea,” Dia said coolly as she pulled a second chair up to her desk.

 

Kanan sat down and looked around the room.  There was something about the fact that Dia lived on her own that made her seem even cooler to Kanan.  Now that she thought about it, was her heart beating faster than normal?  

 

_ ‘Why would I be nervous? I’m just getting tutored...by a really pretty, smart girl in her fancy apartment alone.  Hm.  That’s why.’ _

 

Dia returned to the room with a tea tray.  Two small cups, a kettle, sugar, milk, and spoons were all set on the tray nicely.  Kanan wondered if Dia was this proper with all of her guests.

 

“T-thanks,” Kanan said as she picked up a cup and took a sip of tea.  The warmth helped Kanan calm down a bit.  She put the cup back down, took off her letterman and stretched.

 

Dia almost did a spit take with her tea.  Kanan had muscles for days.  Under her letterman she was only wearing a thin, short sleeve, black v-neck.  The lack of sleeves not only showed off a lot of her biceps, but also hugged them perfectly.  It’s a wonder how they haven’t been stretched out yet.  

 

Kanan locked her fingers together, leaned back, and stretched up with her hands above her head, revealing a sliver of her chiseled midriff.  “Uh, are you okay?  Your face is really red,”  Kanan asked innocently, completely unaware that Dia had been staring this whole time.

 

“It’s the tea!  That’s all!” Dia frantically responded.

 

Kanan just smiled at the flustered girl, “Let’s get started then, shall we?”

 

Dia cleared her throat, “Yes, let’s.”  She quickly turned her head away towards her bag to hide her face as she grabbed a pencil.  She turned back around and puffed her chest out, “I hope you’re prepared.  I have a very rigorous lesson plan that’ll ensure you actually learn the concepts, rather than just memorize them for long enough to pass.  I can assure you it’ll be challenging, no matter how confident you are in your abilities.”  

 

“We’ll see about that,” Kanan said, accepting the challenge.

 

The real challenge for Kanan was staying focused.  Right from the start, Kanan was distracted.  Everytime Dia leaned over to check Kanan’s work, she would catch a whiff of Dia’s hair.  Kanan would watch as Dia corrected any errors.  It was like watching an artist paint one of their finest works.  She looked so concentrated, but every movement she made was so gentle.  It was as if Dia’s happy place was right here at this desk, working on school work.  Kanan was amazed.

 

“Hello?  Kanan?  _  KANAN! _ ”

 

Kanan jumped a little, “Heh!?  What, yeah the pythagorean theorem!”

 

Dia gave Kanan a disappointed stare.  “Did you even  _ hear _ what I said!?  We’re not even doing geometry right now,” Dia said, bewildered at Kanan’s audacity.  “Do you want me to tutor you or not?”

 

“Yes! I do, I do!  Trust me!  It’s just...your voice is so soothing, it’s like it was tucking me in for a nap,” Kanan said smoothly, expecting to “suave” her way out of the situation.

 

All she received was an annoyed expression from Dia.  “That’s hardly flattering.  Anyways, if you’re having trouble focusing, maybe I should play some music to help you concentrate.”  

 

“Music?”  Kanan sat up in anticipation, oddly excited to hear what kind of music Dia listened to.  Maybe, if Kanan was lucky, they would have a similar music taste.  At least it would be one thing they could agree on.

 

Dia scrolled through her phone and pressed play.  Soft, relaxing piano music started pouring out of the speaker.  

 

Kanan’s shoulders slumped, “I should have known.”

 

“Known what?”

 

“That this would be your study music.  Don’t you have anything else?”

 

Dia thought about it for a moment, as if flipping through the albums she owned in her head, “Ah! I’ve got it!”

 

Kanan watched with anticipation as Dia scrolled through her phone some more and tapped play again.  This time, serene, contemporary koto music started playing.  

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Kanan said with creased eyebrows, sounding disappointed.

 

“What  _ did _ you mean then?”  Dia asked, pausing the music.

 

“You know, something you can just jam to.  Something chill you can have in the background to get you through the work.”

 

“Music shouldn’t just ‘ _ get you through’ _ your work, it should help you concentrate and focus on it,” Dia said, sounding like every teacher ever.  

 

“So much for agreeing on something,” Kanan muttered her lost hope under breath.

 

The rest of the tutoring session went on without music.

 

…

 

“I’ll see you on Monday!”  Kanan waved at Dia from outside the front door or her apartment.

 

Dia waved back through the glass doors and turned to walk back up the stairs.

 

As she did, she found herself thinking about Kanan.  Her cheesy, nervous smile when Dia told Kanan she got a problem wrong.  Those exaggerated egotistical celebrations when she got a problem right.  Dia had never seen someone be so expressive while studying.  It was kind of refreshing.  

 

Contrary to her expectation, Dia was in a good mood as a result of the tutoring session.  It made her realize how much she missed spending time with Kanan before she became absorbed by sports.  

 

‘ _ She’s kind of cute too, _ ’ Dia grinned at the thought of Kanan’s smile for a moment before opening the door to her apartment.  And then immediately regretted it with horror.  ‘ _ What am I thinking!?  I can’t like someone like Kanan!  She’s just so...so...ugh!  No! _ ’  

 

Dia quickly entered her apartment and slammed the door behind her.  She rushed into her room, flopped into her desk chair, and took a deep breath.  Then she noticed something.  A small sticky note on her desk.  She picked it up and read the handwriting on it.  

 

“What kind of shampoo do you use? - Kanan ;)”

 

Dia giggled to herself after reading the note.  “What an idiot,” she said with a smile that she couldn’t hold back.

 

…

 

Everything looked a little brighter to Kanan as she walked home from Dia’s apartment.  Even though it was a cold, overcast, November day, she kept her letterman off all the way home.  She felt good.  Kanan never thought she would have felt this way after spending the past few hours studying on a Saturday, but spending it with Dia made her feel better.  It was nice knowing that Dia wasn’t going to hold the egging incident against Kanan for the rest of her life.  

 

‘ _ I finally have a chance to fix things.  I can make things the way they should have been for the past few years.  No, I’ll make them better!  I’m gonna make that nerd my girlfriend!’   _ Kanan, feeling like an excited little kid again, took off running the rest of the way to her house.  It was at that moment that Kanan decided, ‘ _ I’m completely gay for my childhood best friend. _ ’

 

Full of energy, Kanan decided to do some physical training right away.  She got home, changed into her workout clothes, and filled her water bottle.  Just as she was about to head out, she noticed a message on her phone.

 

It was a message from Dia that read, “What I put in my hair is none of your business.”  Kanan frowned at the message, but just as she did, another message popped up.  “But if you must know...it’s a tea tree shampoo.”  

 

Kanan’s face lit up, “I knew it.”  She slipped her phone into her pocket and took off on her daily jog.  Next Saturday couldn’t come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope everyone got my Van Halen reference in the chapter title...  
> Anyway, thanks for reading! These chapters might start to come out a little slower now that school has started up again (15 units this semester WOO). Regardless, I'll work hard to make sure that I don't leave you guys hanging for like two months. Wish me luck!


	4. An Unexpected Encounter and Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan has started spending more time with Dia on her path to a 4.0, making Yui jealous and causing an ugly truth to be revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! As always, thanks to Jax for proofreading (yes I'm going to thank her every time).

The following week went without incident.  Kanan forced herself to stay awake in all of her classes and took proper notes like Dia had told her to.  Even though it cut into her rigorous training schedule, Kanan devoted more time outside of school to completing assignments and studying.  On top of that, she was making progress on trying to get closer to Dia.  Kanan wanted to get back what they lost years ago and take it a step further.

She started finding herself in the library during lunch once she found out that it was Dia’s go-to spot whenever she wasn’t in class.  Even though Kanan was sure that her work was up to par, she would have Dia check it just as an excuse to see her at least once a day.  

As a result, the time Kanan spent with her “friends” from the swim team decreased drastically and she basically only saw them during practice.  Kanan didn’t think too much of it, but Yui definitely noticed.

…

Dia sat in the library, studying after school on Friday as she usually did.  She was always the last one in the library, unsurprisingly, since everyone just wanted to get out of school as soon as possible for the weekend.  Next to her homework was Kanan’s notebook, which she had left in the library at lunch when she came to ask Dia calculus questions.  If Kanan didn’t come for the notebook, Dia figured she would just take it home and hold on to it since she would see Kanan the next day for tutoring anyways.

“I guess she’s not coming,”  Dia sighed, slightly disappointed in Kanan’s irresponsibility.  

Dia packed up her things and left the library.  When she stepped out of the door, she was greeted with unhappy faces.  

Three girls held malicious glares at the preppy student.  Dia recognized them from the swim team.  She would be lying if she said she didn’t pay attention to who Kanan was hanging out with for two years while Dia was all alone.  

“Can I help you?” Dia asked with a frown, completely unaware of the girls’ intentions.

“I don’t get it,” Yui said dryly, staring Dia up and down.

“Don’t get what?”

“Why Kanan’s been leaving us and spending time with you.  You’re such a loser,”  Yui scoffed.

“Excuse me?” Dia responded, rightfully offended.

Yui began to walk towards Dia slowly as she spoke.  “Why did you have to get in the way and ruin everything!” Yui raised her voice as she started backing Dia up against the wall in the empty hallway.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Dia snapped back, frustrated by confusion.

Dia continued to back up in order to keep her distance from Yui until she felt her back hit cold stone.

“You defended her for what happened on Halloween!”  Yui face was now inches from Dia’s.  She could see every ounce of anger in her eyes.  The other two girls stood behind, emotionless.

“That has nothing to do with you!” Dia retaliated in her uncomfortable position.

Yui snapped her forearm up and pinned Dia to the wall by her neck.  The other two girls lunged forward and grabbed either of Dia arms and restrained them against the wall as well so she couldn’t resist.

Dia dropped all of her books as she started to choke and cough. The vice grip on her neck made it nearly impossible to breathe as she struggled against it. She tried with all of her strength to break free, but she couldn’t compete with the brawny jocks.

“It has _everything_ to do with me!  Do you think I’m stupid!?  Do you think we just came upon your house by chance?  I know about everything that happened between you and Kanan.  I brought her to your house on purpose because I _knew_ she would act exactly the way she did that night.  I knew those pent up feelings of anger and hatred towards you couldn’t stay tucked away forever.  Most importantly, I knew she would feel guilty about it too.  That’s what made it so easy to ditch her and leave her to be caught.”

“What...are you getting...at?” Dia spoke between labored breaths.

Yui applied more pressure on Dia’s throat.

“I guess you’re not as smart as everyone says you are.  If Kanan got expelled, like she _should_ have, I would have been captain!  I’ve been trying since my first year, but I could never compare to Kanan.  It’s so unfair!   _I_ was the one that introduced her to the swim team in the first place!   _I_ was the one that originally wanted to be on the swim team!  This was my _one_ chance to finally get what I wanted and _you_ just had to fuck it up!”  

A hot stream of tears gathered up at the corners of Yui’s eyes.  She hung her head, but the force of her arm on Dia’s neck didn’t let up.  Suddenly, Yui snapped her head back up and peered into Dia’s eyes.  She couldn’t say a word, not only because she was physically incapable of making sound at this point, but because she was truly frightened.  Yui had a look of fury in her eyes that Dia had never seen in anyone before.

Yui lifted her free hand in a fist.  “You know it pains me to have to break the nose of such a pretty girl,” Yui sighed through clenched teeth, contemplating her fist.  She leveled it with Dia’s face and pulled back.

In a desperate state of mind, the words ‘ _Help me, Kanan’_ flashed through Dia’s head unconsciously.

She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth, preparing for the hit until-

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HER!” An enraged shout came from the end of the hallway.  It was Kanan, who had just now come back for her notebook.

Dia was filled with relief just at the sound of Kanan’s, incredibly angry, voice.  

Yui snapped her head towards the voice, smirked, and pulled her arm away from Dia.  The other girls followed suit.  

Dia fell to her knees and put her hands to her throat, wincing as she gasped for air.  

“Timing is everything, isn’t it,” Yui said coolly, as Kanan rushed down the hallway.

“Shut up, bitch,” Kanan was shaking with anger.  Her fists were clenched with white knuckles, and she was more than ready to put Yui in a coma.

“What are you gonna do?  Are you standing up for your girlfriend?” Yui mocked.  The other girls snickered.

“Shut up!” Kanan shouted as she pushed the sleeves of her letterman up, obviously preparing to fight.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Yui asked calmly.  “Because I’m pretty sure that beating up another student is grounds for expulsion, don’t ya think?”

As much of a smart ass she was being, Yui was right.  Kanan was already on thin ice with the director.  She was already on her second chance and she wasn’t about to push it.  She reluctantly lowered her fists.

“That’s better,” Yui said smugly.

“What do you want?”  Kanan asked in a low voice.

“I want to teach your old friend here a lesson.  Apparently an egg to the chest wasn’t enough.”

“Leave her. Out of this.”

“I really can’t.  I hope you understand,” Yui said with a sneer as she turned on her heels to walk back over to Dia.

Kanan lunged after her, but Yui’s henchmen held her back.

“Don’t!  Please!  Take it out on me instead!” Kanan pleaded as she tried to push past the two girls.

Yui shot Kanan a nasty look over her shoulder.  “What are you talking about?” She asked, clearly annoyed but curious.

Kanan stopped struggling and the two girls backed off, but kept their guard up.

“If I heard correctly, it sounded like you wanted a shot at captain, right?  Well here you go.  You get one clean shot at me.  Anywhere.”  Kanan slipped her letterman off, threw it to the floor, and held her arms out at her sides.  

“I know it’s not the same kind of shot you were hoping for, but it’s the best I can offer,” Kanan said with a straight face.

Yui evaluated her choices, looking first at Kanan, then Dia, who was still speechless on the floor.  She still looked terrified, but now more for Kanan’s sake than her own.  

Yui looked back up at her vulnerable ex-friend, “Don’t mind if I do.” The corners of her mouth tugged into a malicious grin.

Taking her time walking over to Kanan, Yui cracked her knuckles.  “You know, I’ve always wanted to do this,” She said in a sinister tone.

Kanan stood inexpressibly, looking Yui dead in the eyes.  

In an instant, Yui pulled her arm back and launched her fist straight into Kanan’s face.

Kanan fell to the floor with a heavy _thud_.

“Kanan!” Dia screamed and rushed over to body on the floor.

“Pathetic,” Yui spat, looking down at the dazed and bloodied captain.  The three thugs walked out of the hallway without looking back.  

Dia held back any words out of fear until the trio was out of sight.

“Kanan!  Are you okay!?  We need to get you to the school’s infirmary!” Dia panicked as she tried and failed to lift the limp mass of muscle that laid on the floor in front of her.

“Don’t,” Kanan said in a soft, raspy voice, placing a hand on Dia’s shoulder.  “If you take me to the infirmary, the nurse will ask a billion questions that I can’t make up the answers to right now.”

Dia ignored her and pushed on, “Did you hit your head when you fell?  What if you suffered a subconcussive blow?  That’s how people get chronic traumatic encephalopathy!” Dia went on, still straining herself to lift Kanan.

“Dia, it’s okay.  My ponytail broke the fall for my head at least.  I’m fine,” Kanan reassured the hysterical girl.

“B-but your nose!” Dia stopped trying to lift Kanan and pointed at the stream of blood that was coming from her left nostril.

“Shiiiit,” Kanan groaned as she brought her hand up to wipe the blood that was trickling from her nose and making its way down to her chin.  Her hand looked like a toddler that just finished finger painting with exclusively red.  “Okay I guess I’m not that fine.”  

Kanan looked up at Dia when she didn’t respond and saw that there were tears spilling down her face.

“You idiot…” Dia murmured with her head hung and voice trembling helplessly.  “Why did you do that!?”  Her voice rose sharply.

“Wait, what?”  Kanan asked, still in a daze.

“You can’t just do that!  You really worry me sometimes…” Dia’s voice trailed off.

“ _You?_  Worrying about _me?_  Yui must’ve hit me pretty hard,” Kanan said, half joking.

“I’m serious!  You can’t just handle all of your problems like that!  What were you thinking?”  

“I-I wasn’t really...The only thing I could think was that I needed to save you.”  Kanan gave herself mental props for that one.  That was smooth.

Dia’s eyes widened, remembering the frantic thought she had right before Yui would have clocked her.  She felt her face get hot, now realizing how embarrassing that was even though she didn’t say it out loud.

“What’s wrong?” Kanan inquired, noticing Dia’s face burn into a searing shade of red..

“N-nothing!  I’m fine!  I’m just flustered is all,” Dia stuttered while nervously scratching at the mole on her chin.

Kanan grinned at the old habit, knowing well that Dia was not fine, but decided not to press any further.

“Uh, so, do you need me to get you anything?  Like ice for your cheek maybe?”  Dia spoke quickly, eager to change the subject.

“Don’t worry about it, I can take care of that at home.”  Then her eyes lit up, “Buuut you _can_ kiss it and make it better,” Kanan suggested, trying her best to look cool with blood running down her face and a clear bruise appearing on her cheek.

Dia left out a long sigh.  “I guess you are fine after all,” she resigned, finally calming down to her normal self.  She stood and extended a hand towards Kanan to help her up.

“I’m good.  I think I’ll just stay here for a while,” Kanan said, laying her head back to the ground.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you need to get cleaned up,” Dia said a little more firmly, still offering her hand.

Kanan took a deep breath and took Dia’s hand.  Once Kanan was on her feet, she picked up her letterman and threw it over her shoulders as if nothing had happened.  

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early.  My place this time though, right?” Kanan asked casually (she had convinced Dia earlier in the week to come to her house for tutoring because she would have a “home court advantage” over the homework).

“Your reason made no sense at all, but yes.  I’ll be there at eight,” Dia assured Kanan.  

“Great!” Kanan said with her trademark grin.  “We’d better get going.  If someone found us like this they might think I lost a fight to someone wearing oxfords,” Kanan winked and flashed a smile at Dia before turning to leave.

Dia kept a straight face as she watched Kanan walk down the hall, around the corner, and out of sight.  Only then did Dia react.  

She covered her face with her hands and let out a groan. She felt like it was about to overheat as several embarrassing thoughts began to clutter her head.  ‘ _What was that!?  That was totally unfair!  Since when did she have such a nice smile?  Why did my heart tighten up just now?  What is this feeling!?  Why am I feeling this way!?!?’_

Dia was perplexed with emotions that she had never felt before.  Part of her felt like dancing and singing at the top of her lungs.  The other part wanted to crawl into a dark hole and punch herself in the face.  Either way, her heart was definitely beating faster than normal.

The entire way back to her apartment, Dia’s mind was clouded with questions and no answers.  She entered her dark apartment and threw herself down on the bed without turning any lights on.  

Staring at the ceiling, she asked herself one more thing:

_‘Is this love?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Dang Kanan what a dreamboat am I right? I'm sad to say but we are approaching the end! This story's got either one or two more chapters left in it so we'll see how it turns out.


	5. Catching Up and Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the intense emotional ride Kanan and Dia experienced the day before, they settle and discuss things alone...almost.

Dia stood in front of Kanan’s door, nervously twiddling a small box in her fingers.  After taking a deep breath, she brought her fist up to knock, but before her knuckles could make contact with the door, it swung open.

 

“Dia?”

 

“AH!”  Dia leapt back in surprise and quickly hid the box behind her back.

 

“Is it that bad?” Kanan asked with a sheepish smile.

 

Recovering from the shock, Dia noticed the large, purple and blue-ish bruise right under Kanan’s left eye. Though it was no longer as bad as the day of the incident, it was still pretty swollen.  Dia couldn’t help but stare with her jaw agape. 

 

Kanan cleared her throat to break the silence, “Uh, you wanna come in or...?”

 

Dia snapped out of it. “Right!  Yes! Thank you!” She hurried past Kanan into the house.

 

“In case you don’t remember from middle school, my room’s the second door on your right down the hall.  I’ll meet you in there in a sec, I need to get a new ice pack. Do you want anything to drink?” Kanan asked casually.

 

“Uh, no \-  I mean yes!  But, let me get that for you!  You should take it easy!” Dia spoke eccentrically, unsure how to act around Kanan after what happened yesterday.

 

“I have a black eye, not the flu,” Kanan chuckled, then added with a tease, “You know, you’re pretty cute when you get flustered like that.”

 

“What are you saying!?” Dia asked incredulously, her ears growing hot. She immediately turned away from Kanan to hide the clear embarrassment on her face.  “I-I’ll see you in your room then!” Dia hurried around the corner and down the hall into the second door on her right.

 

Once she was out of Kanan’s sight, she leaned her back against the wall and let out a sigh, slumping her shoulders.  As her heart rate slowed to a reasonable pace, she contemplated the box again, ‘ _ Just give it to her!  What are you so worried about!?’  _ She let out a frustrated noise and dragged a hand down her face before blinking her eyes clear. 

 

Dia took in her surroundings, realizing she hadn’t been in Kanan’s house since middle school.  While it was different from how it was back then, Kanan’s room was exactly what Dia expected. It was pretty simple: light hardwood floor, dresser, closet, a bed on one side of the room and a desk on the other. There were sports medals and trophies scatter about the room on her desk, on the shelves, or anywhere really.  There were  _ a lot _ of them. 

 

Walking over to the desk, Dia noticed a picture frame that sat on the left side.  It was the swim team right after they won the state championships. The first time they won in over 10 years, and coincidentally, Kanan’s first year on the team.  Dia looked closer at the fifteen year old Kanan in the picture, a big gold medal around her neck, the team around her with huge smiles. Even Yui was smiling and hugging Kanan.  Who knew she would become so bitter in just a couple of years?

 

Dia’s eyes drifted to the other side of the desk. There was another picture frame.  Three little girls sat on grass, covered in the remnants of a cake with pink frosting.  It was...

 

“Elementary school,” Kanan finished her thoughts, standing in the doorway with an ice pack to her face and a glass of water in her free hand.  

 

Startled, Dia jumped a little before responding, “At the promotion ceremony.  I remember. Mari ruined our dresses,” She said with a soft chuckle of fondness.

 

Kanan grinned, “Nothing would get those stains out.  You were  _ soooo  _ mad,” she said, taking a seat on her bed.

 

“I don’t know why  _ you  _ weren’t.  Those were expensive!”

 

“Well of course I minded it in  _ that  _ way, but somehow I felt like the stupid stuff like that meant that we were  _ really  _ friends,” Kanan let the words sink in for a moment.  “The way I see it, you only throw cake at two kinds of people: those you really hate, or those you really love.”

 

Dia was paralyzed for a moment. Hearing something like that from Kanan was the last thing she expected.  “There’s some truth to that,” Dia finally said, looking back at the picture. 

 

The two girls sat in silence for a moment, then, as if it were rehearsed, spoke in unison.

 

“I need to talk to you about something.”

 

They both gasped and proceeded to laugh.  

 

Kanan looked up and smiled at Dia, “What do  _ you _ want to talk about?”

 

“Uh!  No! I mean!  You can go first!  My thing can wait…” Dia rambled, suddenly overcome with nerves.

 

Kanan raised and eyebrow at her, “Okayyy, well here goes nothing,” she said putting her glass of water and the ice pack on the bedside table.  

 

“I’m listening,” Dia said as she sat down in the desk chair.

 

Kanan took a deep breath and Dia leaned forward in anticipation.

 

“I’m quitting the swim team.”

 

Dia instantly shot up from the chair, “ _ WHAT!? _ ”

 

Kanan remained calm from her outburst however, clearly expecting that kind of response.  “I know, I know. It seems dumb. The whole point of me trying to get my grades up is so that I can stay in school and be on the swim team, but...I just can’t go back.  I don’t think I should after yesterday.”

 

“B-but you love the swim team!” Dia protested.  “You want to go to college for it right? You can’t let this little thing-”

 

“It’s not little,” Kanan cut Dia off, “You saw the hatred in Yui’s eyes.  Plus she had two other girls supporting her. It just had me thinking about how many others on the team have actually been on Yui’s side this whole time.”

 

“Kanan...”

 

“It’s okay,” Kanan assured Dia with a smile, “I thought about it a lot last night and I think it’s best this way.  I had a good run as captain.” She sounded so sure, but couldn’t help showing a pang sadness in her eyes.

 

Dia gave Kanan a sad look, “Is that what you really want?”

 

“It is.  I’m sure,” Kanan said firmly, looking Dia in the eye.

 

Dia opened her mouth, but then closed it. She had nothing more to say.  She almost felt guilty as a result of Kanan’s decision, but knew she couldn’t do or say anything to change it at this point.  Dia cast her eyes towards the floor.

 

“So anyways, what did you want to talk about?” Kanan asked in attempt to get off the topic, clearly discomforted by Dia’s reaction.  

 

Dia was overcome with nervousness again and quickly turned her head away to avoid eye contact, “Ah- it can wait actually.  We should really get started on-”

 

Before Dia realized it, Kanan had cornered her against the desk.

 

“I already finished the homework.  I did all of it and it’s perfect. Doubled checked, too.”  Kanan declared with a serious expression.

 

Dia swallowed, unable to speak.

 

“What did you want to talk about?”  Kanan asked again, more assertively.

 

Dia abruptly shoved Kanan away from her and held her hands out with her head turned away.  

 

When Kanan recovered from the push, she noticed a small blue box in Dia’s palms.  

 

“What’s this?”  Kanan inquired, pointing at the box.

 

“Open it,” Dia said timidly, still looking at the floor, “I realized I never said thank you for what you did yesterday.  Even though it was incredibly stupid, you did save me after all.”

 

Kanan hesitantly took the box and lifted the lid.  Inside sat a small, metal, dolphin keychain. 

 

Dia turned her head just enough to see Kanan’s expression, “This was the closest one I could find.  They don’t sell the same ones from when we went on that aquarium field trip in the fifth grade.”

 

Tears were forming in Kanan’s eyes, “You remembered…” she spoke quietly, smiling at the token of appreciation.

 

“How could I forget?  Not only were you the one that came up with the idea to get the matching keychains, but you were the first to lose it and cry about it.  I’m pretty sure even Mari still has hers,” Dia grinned as she pulled out her own scratched up and rusted keychain, reminiscing about the times when the three girls were inseparable.  

 

She looked up only when she heard Kanan softly sobbing.

 

“Ah! I’m sorry!” Dia exclaimed, not knowing what she was apologizing for.

 

Kanan raised her head and smiled through the tears, “What are you sorry for?”

 

“I-I don’t know,” Dia stuttered.  She stood uncomfortably, unsure of what to make of the situation.

 

Kanan couldn’t help but laugh at her awkward friend, feeling a light in her heart that she hadn’t felt in years.

 

Eventually she settled down, “Actually, Dia, there’s something else I wanted to talk about, too.”

 

Tossing the box onto the bed behind her, Kanan stepped towards Dia. She ignored the quizzical expression Dia threw at her, only to turn wide-eyed in realization once Kanan prowled closer and closer. She didn’t give time for Dia to react before gently cupping the sides of her face with her hands and kissing her on the lips.  

 

Dia’s eyes shot wide open out of shock only for a moment, but only when she felt the brush of Kanan’s lips against hers did she give in to the kiss, wrapping her arms around the other girl and hugging her closer.

 

Her lips were softer than Dia expected for someone who used to spend a lot of time in a chlorine filled pool. The kiss wasn’t fiery or hot either, but rather innocent and careful. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. She felt Kanan’s fingers draw light circles along her back before drifting down her spine, causing Dia to shiver into the touch.  

 

After a long moment, they pulled away from each other, but still close enough to feel the beating of each other’s hearts pressed against their chests.

 

“I missed you so much,” Kanan said softly.

 

Dia’s eyes filled with tears at an overwhelming feeling of relief after what felt like an eternity of tension.

 

“I missed you, too.”

 

She pulled Kanan back in for a long hug.  Both girls were silent throughout the warm embrace, simply enjoying the feeling of being held in each other’s arms.  

 

“I didn’t realize you felt  _ that  _ way, though.” Dia spoke into Kanan’s shoulder.

 

Kanan laughed nervously, “Hah, uh, yeah.  A lot’s changed since middle school.”

 

“Same here,” Dia admitted, squeezing Kanan a little tighter.

 

“Wait, does that mean-”

 

“Yes.  In case you needed anymore confirmation than the doujin that I so shamelessly brought to school, yeah.  Girls.”

 

“Oh cool, cool,” Kanan said awkwardly, trying to sound nonchalant.

 

“So…” Dia started off slowly, “Since you already took the liberty of doing your homework, now what?” She asked.

 

Kanan could think of a couple things, but now wasn’t the time to voice  _ those _ thoughts. 

 

“Um, I guess we could-”

 

The doorbell rang.

“Wha-!?” Dia instinctively pushed herself away from Kanan, as if she had been caught doing something unorthodox.

 

“Who would that be?” Kanan muttered to herself as she made her way to the door, slightly annoyed that her hug was so abruptly interrupted by whoever was at the door.

 

Dia followed Kanan, but waited in the hall so she couldn’t be seen from the doorway.

 

“Who is it?” Kanan calledfrom behind the closed door.

 

“ _ It’s me! _ ~” a familiar voice sang from outside.

 

Kanan quickly opened the door, “Mari!?  What are you doing here? And what is all  _ that? _ ”  She asked, noticing two large bags filled with snacks and sweets in Mari’s hands.

 

“Well, since you and Dia made up I figured we should celebrate!  The three musketeers reunited again!” She winked, holding up a peace sign with her hand.

 

“What are you talking about?  How do you-”

 

Mari leaned in and whispered into Kanan’s ear, “You should learn to close your blinds.”

 

Kanan was mortified as her face became extremely hot in contrast with the cold November air.

 

“I’ll see myself in,”  Mari winked, walking past Kanan, who was paralyzed by embarrassment.

 

Dia emerged from the hallway, having heard everything, “M-Mari!  You can’t just spy on people like that! It’s an invasion of privacy!” 

 

“Oh, Dia!  It’s so hard to take you seriously when your face is red like that!  Besides! It’s fine! The point is that right now we need to celebrate the official reunion of us!  Plus, based on what I saw we should be celebrating a lil’ something else too!” She exclaimed, nudging Dia with her elbow.

 

Kanan, who had finally managed to move again, walked towards Mari, “Look, I appreciate it I guess?  But maybe now’s not the best-”

 

Mari shoved a potato chip in Kanan’s mouth to prevent her from finishing her sentence, “Come on, guys!  Don’t be buzzkills now. I could be a very big party with some very rich people right now, but instead I’m here to hang out with you two!”

 

Kanan swallowed her chip and sighed. “Well, you’re already here so I guess it wouldn’t hurt to-”

 

“ _ YAY! _ ~”  Mari shouted, already unpacking the bags onto the table in the living room.  

 

Kanan looked at Dia and shrugged with a grin before walking over to join Mari at the table and help her unload the snacks.  After a moment, Dia did the same.

 

…

 

The girls talked for hours, catching each other up on their lives for the past three years.  Every embarrassing story, every accomplishment, every failure. Sharing all of these experiences made the girls realize that they wish they experienced it all together, and how much better things might have turned out if they stayed close.  

 

“I think everything happens for a reason, though,” Kanan admitted.  “As much as it sucked to be apart from you guys for so long, I think maybe it needed to be that way.”  She looked at Dia, “I mean otherwise, maybe I wouldn’t have crushed on you so hard,” Kanan said teasingly, knowing that Mari probably knew all along anyways.

 

Nonetheless, Dia was still abashed by the comment, “D-Don’t say such embarrassing things!”

 

“You guys are cute,” Mari said, resting her elbows on the table and her face on her palms.

 

“You think so?” Kanan said with a smile she couldn’t hold back.

 

Dia, on the other hand kept her head down in embarrassment, although she couldn’t help but let a little grin show on her face.  

 

…

 

After a while, the snacks and sweets were gone, the sun had set, and Mari’s driver had come to pick her up.

 

“Hey, Dia, you want a ride home?”  Mari asked, before walking through the door.

 

“No thanks, Kanan will walk me home.”

 

“Ahhh, I see,” Mari said playfully, winking and sticking her tongue out.  She walked up to the car where the driver stood holding the door opened, turned around and shouted, “ _ Ciao, Bellas _ !” and got in the car.  

 

Dia and Kanan waved at Mari from the porch like two parents seeing their child off to school.

 

Once the car was out of sight, Kanan held her hand out to Dia in a very prince like manner, “Shall we?”

 

Dia giggled at the exaggerated gesture of chivalry and took her hand, “We shall.”

 

Kanan effortlessly threw her letterman around Dia’s shoulders with her free hand and the two began to walk along the moonlit streets.

 

As they were walking, Dia leaned her head on Kanan’s arm, making Kanan the flustered one for once. Trying to take attention away from her embarrassment, Kanan looked up at the night sky, “The stars are pretty tonight.”

 

Dia looked up too, head still resting on Kanan’s bicep, “Yeah.”

 

“I think that’s Lacerta over there.  Right between Cygnus and Andromeda” Kanan said, pointing in the general direction.

 

Kanan felt Dia stiffen on her arm.  She looked up at Kanan, “You know your constellations?”  She asked, both surprised and impressed.

 

“Mhm.  I can actually be smart about things that interest me believe it or not,” Kanan teased, still looking at the stars.

 

Dia hugged Kanan’s arm a little closer, feeling a little warmer at the revelation of a softer side that Kanan held onto from when they were kids.

 

...

 

Eventually, they arrived at the front door of Dia’s apartment.

 

“So…” Kanan started, looking at the ground, “Thanks again for the keychain.  It honestly means a lot.”

 

Dia grinned at Kanan’s adorable awkwardness, “No problem.”  

 

“So I guess I’ll uh, get goin’ now.  I’ll text you or something tomorrow maybe we could hang out or somethin’ I dunno-”

 

“Or you could stay,” Dia suddenly said, grabbing Kanan’s forearm.

 

Kanan looked up, meeting Dia’s gaze.

 

Then she snapped out of it.

 

“Uh, I mean you don’t have to of course!  It just gets kind of lonely living alone…”

 

Something pulled at Kanan’s heartstrings.  How could she say no?

 

Taking on a bright grin, Kanan squeezed Dia’s hand, “I’ll stay.”

 

Dia unlocked the front door and the girls made their way through the dark apartment into the bedroom, where Dia opened the blinds so that the room was illuminated by the moonlight. 

 

Kanan sat on the edge of the bed with her hands awkwardly on top of her lap.  Despite acting like hot stuff all the time, she had never actually been alone with a girl in her bedroom at night and had no idea how to act.

 

Clearly, Dia hadn’t either as she assumed the same position at least a foot away from where Kanan sat on the bed.

 

Kanan decided to break the silence, “So do you wanna listen to music or something?”  She asked, staring at her hands as she twiddled her thumbs.

 

“Uh, sure,” Dia replied.

 

Just as she was about to stand up to get her phone, Kanan grabbed her shoulder, “ _ My _ music this time.”

 

Kanan got her phone out and tapped at it for a few seconds.  Then, soft, acoustic, indie music began to play out of her phone’s speaker.

 

Dia seemed pleasantly surprised, “I didn’t expect that.”

 

“What  _ did  _ you expect?”

 

“Well...Not  _ this _ .”

 

Kanan chuckled as she relaxed her posture a bit.

 

Both girls sat still until Kanan inched her hand into the empty space between them.  Dia caught the motion in her peripheral vision and reciprocated, meeting Kanan’s hand halfway.  

 

“Thanks for staying,” Dia finally said softly.

 

“No proble-” 

 

Before Kanan could finish, Dia had cuddled up against Kanan’s arm, making her heart squeeze.  She felt like she was going to explode if she held back any longer.

 

Kanan wrapped her arms around Dia and squeezed her close to her chest.

 

“AH!  K-Kanan, please!  I can’t breathe,” Dia begged, cheek pressed against Kanan’s shoulder.

 

Kanan let up on her grip, giggling, “Okay, okay.  I’m sorry you’re just too cute, I couldn’t help myself.”

 

Just as Kanan was about to release her, Dia hugged back.

 

“I didn’t say to let go.”

 

Kanan’s heart melted as she grinned at Dia and started running a hand through her long, dark brown hair.  

 

Kanan watched as Dia practically fell asleep in her arms over the next few minutes.  The soft moonlight reflecting off of Dia’s silky hair along with the calm music in the background made Kanan realize how tired she was.

 

She gently laid Dia down on her side, proceeding to lie next to her.

 

Kanan took a mental picture of Dia sleeping before giving her a light kiss on the forehead.

 

“Goodnight,” Kanan whispered.  She hesitated for a moment, then added, “I love you,” figuring Dia was asleep anyways.

 

Until she replied.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

Kanan’s eyes shot wide open, deeply regretting everything.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Ruby.”

 

_ Sleep talking.  Thank God. _

 

Kanan exhaled in relief, trying to stay still so that she wouldn’t wake Dia.

 

“I guess I should probably save that for later,” Kanan whispered to herself, grinning as she wrapped an arm around Dia and drifted off to the scent of tea tree shampoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The heckin' end. Sorry it took a while for this last chapter! Things got super busy all at once, but that's just life right? Anyways thank you to those of you who have been here since chapter 1 yall are the MVPs and thanks to anyone who happened to come across this fic and/or drop a kudos, the support meant (and still means) a lot! I know this is a pretty short work, but like I still feel a little sad knowing that it's over now! I had a lot of fun writing this because this AU just has so much potential for so many things! Special shout out to Em (@lacivismaggie) for beta reading this chapter (go check out their stuff they got some hecka cute AU's over there and also their tumblr @giftedsun you won't regret!!). And of course HUGE thanks to Jax for doing the final revision of this chapter and like all of the others?? And for creating the AU in the first place hello?? You're so valid?? In all honesty I'm so glad I decided to write this fic because me messaging Jax and asking them about the AU and pitching the idea for the fic was like a catalyst for me wanting to talk and interact with more people in the LL community who I thought were cool, and I made a bunch of new friends because of it so I'm super grateful for that! Alright I've talked enough, I hope you enjoyed this warm conclusion to the fic!


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